In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[mapsontheweb]

Parts of the country where self-service gas pumping is illegal.

[unterwaesche]

I didn’t know about New Jersey’s law so imagine my shock when a pump jockey sprinted at my car and kicked my door shut when I tried to get out to get gas. I rolled down my window and asked him “Is there a law against pumping your own gas or something?” And he looked at me like I’M nuts and just said “…yes?”

[humanityinahandbag]

okay but imagine this in the reverse. when i left new jersey as a driver for the first time and sat in my car for about ten minutes wondering where the attendant was until a nice man tapped on my window and just said the words “New Jersey?” and when I nodded he told me to get out of the car so he could teach me how to pump gas (and nicely didn’t laugh at me when I shot gas out of the nozzle across the side of my car).

[anonymousalchemist]

me and the boys (all from new jersey) went on a road trip out of state and had to get gas and it ended up being sort of a Group Puzzle for the gang as we huddled around the gas pump and nozzle and tank and whatnot. just picture five people standing around the gas tank opening like its part of an escape room. it was very silly.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[tin-pan-ali]

couple things

• my town’s fireworks were cancelled because they had hired a new company to supply the display this year, and the company ended up not having a properly certified driver to deliver the fireworks from maryland to beachwood, NJ. 
  
• everyone found this out at 2pm on july 4th.
• the display was not delivered earlier because apparently there was no place to store them.
• my town has been doing this for like 70 years so like. good work everyone involved.
• when calls were made to the company, callers were met with an automated message informing them that the company was closed for the holiday.
• amazing
• mayor was Pissed beyond Pissed. this is a huge thing that my town’s been doing for decades that people invest a lot of money in. everyone’s bummed.
• however
• around 8:30 last night, everyone and their mother started shooting off illegal fireworks, implying that people heard about this, and immediately drove to delaware or pennsylvania, and stocked up on all the good shit that’s illegal in NJ.
• not a single siren/police boat to be seen
• from my aunt’s dock, i had a great view of one house on the water in particular shooting off more fireworks than everyone else, blasting music, tons of smoke and noise.
• it was the mayor’s house

[trcunning]

“Unfortunately due to a complete letdown by the company Fireworks Extravaganza we are unable to have a fireworks celebration tonight,” Beachwood Mayor Ron Roma said via email Wednesday.

“The company said that they do not have a hazmat-licensed driver to deliver the fireworks,” Roma said. “As far as I am concerned this is completely unacceptable.”

“They should have had a backup driver on standby,” he said.  [link]

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

My local ice cream place announced that they have pork roll ice cream today and if that’s not the most New Jersey April fool’s joke you’ve ever heard, I’ll yell fuck you over and over until it is.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[njdotcom]

New Jersey’s Tick Tock Diner was named the second best 24-hour diner in the country by The Daily Meal. The Clifton spot was labeled as the quintessential New Jersey hangout. || Star-Ledger file 📷

#diner #best #nj #truejersey #ticktockdiner (at Tick Tock Diner)

[nonnegative]

see here is the thing: the tick tock diner just ain’t that great. it LOOKS great and that’s where people get confused. i will die on this hill.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[njdotcom]

Drivers weren’t the only ones crossing the Delaware River this weekend. A group re-enacted George Washington’s crossing from Pennsylvania to the Garden State on Sunday afternoon. || 📷 by Phil McAuliffe

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

!!ELECTION DAY REMINDERS!!

[nonnegative]

sydnymarie:

Election day is TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8th

• You can check your polling place AND time HERE.
  

• I would HIGHLY recommend bringing two forms of ID [a gov. i.e. your license or photo ID AND your voter ID] with you to poll. Some states have voter ID laws, and in other states you need your ID if it’s your first time voting  at that particular location.
  

• Avoid any trouble, don’t wear any pins, tshirts, etc. for a particular candidates. Some areas consider it passive electioneering.
  

• You CAN NOT vote via text, online, etc. Anyone advertising otherwise is lying.
  

• The only person to ask you for your ID should be the individual working the polls sitting at a table inside the building in question. If anyone else asks you for your ID or gives you a hard time, they have no authority to do so and should be avoided.
  

• You CAN NOT take a photo of your ballot/voting machine/etc. Take a cute photo with your “I Voted” sticker after and call it a day.
  

Most importantly, stay safe, be smart and VOTE VOTE VOTE

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[njdotcom]

WHEN IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER TO VOTE IN THE GENERAL ELECTION?

• October 18 is the last day to register to vote in N.J.

WHEN IS ELECTION DAY?

• Tuesday, November 8.
  

WHAT HOURS ARE POLLS OPEN?

• From 6 a.m. to 8 p.m.
  

HOW DO I FIND MY POLLING PLACE?

• You can find your polling place by either visiting voter.njsvrs.com or calling your town clerk.
  

WHAT IF I CAN’T MAKE IT TO THE POLLS ON ELECTION DAY?

• You have until a week before Election Day to apply for an absentee ballot, which allows you to vote by mail.
• If you do vote by mail, your ballot must be received by the County Board of Elections no later than 8 p.m. on Election Day.

DO I HAVE TO BE AFFILIATED WITH A PARTY TO VOTE?

• No. Unlike the primaries, you do not have to be affiliated with a major party to cast your ballot in the general election.

HOW DO I FIND OUT IF I’M REGISTERED TO VOTE?

• You can find out if you’re registered to vote by visiting voter.njsvrs.com.
  

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[njdotcom]

Bruce Springsteen played the first of three shows in the Meadowlands Tuesday night. 

Springsteen harnessed his youth in the nearly four-hour performance, proving, in many ways, he’s still that boy from Freehold.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[njdotcom]

Congrats to all of the N.J. athletes who represented Team USA in Rio!

How does New Jersey compare to the rest of the world when it comes to medal count? Here’s a look at how the state ranks: http://nj-ne.ws/YoIFuS0

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

you’d like jersey. people there seem to hate the earth, too.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[mapsontheweb]

Heat map of US regions where “fuck” is a popular curse word.

More word maps >>

[dorites]

The great American fuck-shell and anti-fuck core. A true national treasure.

[our-lady-of--singularities]

I love that the entirety of California is red.

[craftbeerhallputsch]

let utah say fuck

[nonnegative]

lbr, i didn’t even have to look at new jersey to know the results.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[toopunktofuck]

one of new jersey’s most famous confections, saltwater taffy, was invented because some asshole’s candy shop flooded and ruined all his taffy and he sold it to a child anyway and i think that pretty much says a lot about the overall cultural climate of new jersey

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[njdotcom]

Someone painted the hands on a statue of George Washington red in Trenton. Police are investigating.

[nonnegative]

oh ho ho

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

The state has sent more pension money to big-name Wall Street firms like Blackstone, Third Point, Omega Advisors, Elliott Associates and Grady’s old firm, The Carlyle Group. Additionally, the amount of fees the state pays financial managers has more than tripled since Christie assumed office. New Jersey is now one of America’s largest investors in hedge funds.

The “maximized returns” have yet to materialize.

Between fiscal year 2011 and 2014, the state’s pension trailed the median returns for similarly sized public pension systems throughout the country, according to data from the financial analysis firm, Wilshire Associates. That below-median performance has cost New Jersey taxpayers billions in unrealized gains and has left the pension system on shaky ground. Meanwhile, New Jersey is now paying a quarter-billion dollars in additional annual fees to Wall Street firms — many of whose employees have financially supported Republican groups backing Christie’s reelection campaign.

Gov. Christie Shifted Pension Cash to Wall Street, Costing New Jersey Taxpayers $3.8 Billion (via dendroica)