In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[did-you-kno]

Source 1, 2

[nonnegative]

dolphins are such dicks.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[animalstalkinginallcaps]

FUCKING HIPPIES.

[nonnegative]

lololol

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[theclearlydope]

You have got to be shitting me …

[nonnegative]

how does this exist?

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

ihatecosmicstuff:

fat-birds:

evidents:

those eyes

are pits

for souls to disappear into

OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE

actually don’t but seriously, what is this biiird

soul sucking bird just wants to love you

i just stared at it for a few seconds and feel like a part of me died. i can hear it saying “hello :)” inside my head.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[animalstalkinginallcaps]

HEY BABES WHAT’S UP? COME HER OFTEN? I DO. I’M IN MARKETING OVER AT MICROSOFT, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF IT? I’M KIDDING! OF COURSE YOU HAVE. ANYWAY WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING, COSMOS? BARTENDER! SIX COSMOS. POUR IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. SO DO YOU WANT TO COME BACK TO MY PLACE LATER? I HAVE A HUGE TV AND A NICE LITTLE HOT TUB. DO YOU LIKE HOT TUBS? KIDDING! EVERYONE LIKES HOT TUBS. ANYWAY, YOU THERE, BLONDE ONE, WHAT’S YOUR NAME, HONEY? LANCE, STOP TOUCHING ME. I’M TRYING TO TALK TO THESE BABES. ANYWAY, GOLDILOCKS, WHAT DO THEY CALL YOU BACK HOME? REALLY? HOW ABOUT YOU, GREEN EYES? WOW, THAT’S A PRETTY NAME. NOT AS PRETTY AS YOU, OF COURSE, BUT IT’S NICE. LARRY, SHUT UP, I’M TALKING TO SOME BABES. SO DO YOU WORK AROUND HERE? YEAH, ME TOO. AT MICROSOFT. HOW MANY OF YOU CAN FIT IN A PORSCHE? KIDDING! IT’S A TWO SEATER. ANYWAY, WHO WANTS TO- LARRY! THEY’RE NOT INTERESTED! DROP IT! WHO WANTS TO DANCE, IS WHAT I WAS ASKING. I’M NOT TRYING TO BLOW MYSELF HERE BUT I HAVE MOVES LIKE USHER. YOU THERE, GINGER SPICE. YOU LIKE TO DANCE? KIDDING! EVERYONE LIKES TO DANCE. FINISH THAT COSMO AN LET’S GO HIT THE LINOLEUM. YOU BABES EVER DO SHOTS? YOU LIKE TEQUILA? KIDDING! EVERYONE LIKES TEQUILA! ANYWAY …

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[nonnegative]

Two tags I didn’t expect to use together.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[nonnegative]

thedailywhat:

Interspecies Suspicion of the Day: Redditor Biddooo says: “My niece and a monkey. They do NOT trust each other.”

Not sure if evolution, or just uncanny resemblance.

[reddit.]

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[animalstalkinginallcaps]

OH YEAH. IT’S TOTALLY FALL. PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES HERE I COME.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[rraaaarrl]

(via A Flock of Corgis - Imgur)

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[republicoflights]

Boop!

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[kittenskittenskittens]

(via Stackable Kitties - SRSLYcute | Seriously Cute)

[nonnegative]

i love how they all look angry.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

YouTube 1911 is the kind of April Fools joke I like. Play him off, Flugelhorn Feline!

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

whiskeyonsunday:

thedailywhat:

Marketing Campaign of the Day: DirecTV took their successful Russian billionaire ad campaign to its inevitable conclusion, shining a much-needed spotlight on the spot’s depressingly fictional miniature giraffes.

The phony website for Sokoblovsky Farms — “Russia’s finest purveyor of Petite Lap Giraffes” — comes complete with photos, ordering info, a live giraffe-cam trained on Vladimir, the farm’s “bull” giraffe.

[adfreak.] 

 I STILL WANT ONE.

This is me clicking on the “I WANT GIRAFFE” button multiple times. These are seriously the only commercials I stop TiVo to watch. The new one has a tiny giraffe on a tiny treadmill!!!

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[nonnegative]

file under: creatures that are too adorable to be real.

[In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.]

[thebullyblog]

Hipbull Terrier~

[chexualseduction]

omg