In Spanish, we don’t really say “I love you” we say “traeme una cerveza” which roughly translates to “you are the light of my soul” & I think that’s beautiful.
From “How Not to Sleep With Jonathan Franzen”
Every woman must decide how not to sleep with Jonathan Franzen in her own way. I learned from my grandmother, a wise woman who lived in the forest and only very rarely slept with Jonathan Franzen. She told me once, on a frosty winter night, how best to escape his sexual clutches if I ever encountered him on the path that led to the nearest market town.
“You will know him,” she said, “for he shall be riding on a white steed, and his right hand will bear no glove. When you see him, you must rush at him, and throw your kirtle over him, and hold fast to him, no matter what form he may take as he struggles against you.”
“What forms will he take?” I said. She leaned in close to me and stoked up the fire.
franzooooooo
if you live with a cat, you have had this conversation.
Truth.
- white het dudes: it's just a joke. you guys have no sense of humor
- oppressed person: *tells a joke about privileged people*
- white het dudes: I AM SUDDENLY INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING IRONY OR SATIRE AND YOU ARE THE NEXT HITLER
I got a 93%. One I just straight-up whiffed, but the rest I honestly didn’t know. Without cheating, what’s your score?
97%! I’m actually a little shocked I scored that high. History and civics have never been my strong points.
I was not able to complete the test…
god bethany just select an answer already.
macklemore isnt gay so he shouldnt write songs about being gay. he should write about his struggle of looking like a middle aged man.
when i was in 3rd grade i thought i was 34 because i look old
Welcome to Night Vale, the AU where it’s a TV show in New York.
(Or, a demonstration of why every Night Vale fan should look into The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and vice versa.)
Starring
STEPHEN COLBERT as THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
ELEANOR HOLMES NORTON as MAYOR PAMELA WINCHELL
JON STEWART as A HOODED FIGURE
and introducing
JESSICA WILLIAMS as INTERN DANA
antique-romantic
