The first is that true gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.” My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality - my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.
Fanfic Symposium: When Worlds Collide (via thefuror)
It’s horrifying to me how many women will attack you for not taking your husband’s name. They say you should feel honored about changing your name and I’m like, actually I feel like it represented the transfer of property from one man to another. So, there’s that. Anyway, it’s not like anyone can’t be in favor of it, but don’t call me ungrateful or not ready for commitment because I’m not.
(via funkination)
I’ve mostly gotten just support for keeping my name, which is really nice, but I was surprised by how many people were surprised when I said I was doing it. I mean, I got married in 2009 – you’d think everyone would be used to that by now. The one funny thing I noticed is people will ask us if we’re hyphenating the baby’s last name (we’re not), and the word hyphenation always kind of gets the airquotes of sarcasm, like it’s such an odd idea that parents would want their kid to have both of their last names.
Anyway, I really like the original quote. Reminds me of how some people perceive a bias toward women in American college enrollments now that the enrollments accurately reflect the percentage of women in the US.