In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades. — You know how in action movies the main guy is...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
truthnotdespair
satanstrousers

You know how in action movies the main guy is always like “Yeah I’ve got a contact here in Uzbekistan that owes me a favor” for no discernible reason but it occurred to me that like that’s basically what internet friends are like if I was in that situation I’d be like “Yeah don’t worry leave it to me. I’ve got a mutual in the Netherlands whose selfie I reblogged one time.”

i've got australia and malaysia locked the fuck up for whatever reason