[dateagirlwhosuggestion]

date a girl who treats you the same way she treats books

[itsrainingmensheviks]

I’ll critique you continuously and won’t be too bothered if I break your spine

[bookphile]

And then I’ll review your performance on several social media sites and ask for feedback.

[lemonade-and-literature]

I’ll also insert rectangular metal and paper objects into your body whenever I need a break from you, and store you on a shelf in my house

[dukeofbookingham]

I’ll be done with you in less than a week and move on immediately. 

[angryonabus]

If you piss me off, I’ll either throw you across the room or just ignore you for several months. Probably the cats will chew on you.

[nonnegative]

I’ll throw you in a bag and forget you’re there for a month, and once I do remember again, I’ll write sarcastic comments on post its and stick them to you.