i’m looking for something for my daughter. a safe, slow vehicle. a good starter car.
…a starter car?
i feel like glenn howerton is going to have an acting stroke one day
the signs as kanye west tweets
- aries: Sometimes I get emotional over fonts
- taurus: You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end
- gemini: I love me
- cancer: I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh
- leo: I love everybody... only thing I don't like is taxes.. me and taxes gone fight
- virgo: sometimes I push the door close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary
- libra: We lookin' crazy fresh where's paparazzi when you need them
- scorpio: I could never do stand up cause I tell jokes better when I'm sitting
- sagittarius: I think it’s only ok for a dude to call you baby if they’re a Hollywood agent and you kind of cringe when they say it or if yall hooping
- capricorn: French fries are the Devil
- aquarius: So Nirvana can have a naked human being on the cover but I can't have a PAINTING of a monster with no arms and a polka dot tail and wings
- pisces: I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle
my current aesthetic: freaking the fuck out over last night’s it’s always sunny in philadelphia
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System, recut as a horror movie. Not all that different, really.
T E R R I F Y I N G
healthy food tastes like garbage, and if you say you like it, you’re a chump and a liar
"Bill Murray, if you’re listening, I will pay you $250 to do one episode of my show." - Amy Poehler, in 2011
it’s your fault
knightingale-s
