In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.

the-heart-of-leo

cioji

slam that mf like button if you have a WIP (whether art or writing) that’s been sitting around for days or weeks

cioji

lol i have a 20k completed first draft that's been hanging around for three months because i'm too lazy to edit it hell i literally have abandoned wips old enough to have their own tumblrs

cattailor

oneiriad

I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.

I mean, the heroes do, of course they do, kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.

But surely there are also the kids, who - because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird - decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?

robininthelabyrinth

Oh, man, that would absolutely be a thing. The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause.

katyakora

But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organise everything?

Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it’s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they’ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.

So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.

The villain, assuming it’s a joke, laughs in their face.

At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.

They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn’t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.

When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar’s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they’re outside, the villain apologises for their assumption, asks for the kid’s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.

A week later, the little girl’s room is covered in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed polaroids of her and the villain.

The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?

Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realise it’s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid’s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid’s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.

The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain’s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.

Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.

beka-tiddalik

The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.

Heroes: “Can’t you, just, give us their contact details? They’ll never even have to know it was you.”

The Villain Wrangler: “Yeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly figure out that it’s me who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn’t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the kids would you?”

Heroes: “… no~ but…”

The Villain Wrangler: “Exactly.”

Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It’s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.

The Villain Wrangler: “You complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I’m missing.”

Anti-hero: “…excuse me?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Ugh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can, even if they figure out that they’re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I’ve given them up, they won’t hesitate to obliterate both of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?”

Anti-hero: “Wait, what? I thought they trusted you?!”

The Villain Wrangler: “Trust is such a strong word!”

Villain: “Indeed.”

Anti-hero: “Wait, wha-” <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck>

The Villain Wrangler: “Thanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.”

Villain: “You did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.” <cuts Villain Wrangler free>

The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> “Yeah well, you know me, I do whatever I have to. So I’ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha’s? I’ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.”

Villain: “… of course. Yes… I… yes.”

The Villain Wrangler: “I just think you could really reach her, you know?”

Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask> “I… yes, but, what should I say?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Whatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.”

Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently> “….yes.”

The Villain Wrangler wasn’t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.

But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.

Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned it, and is terrified by what it could mean.

shenko

My first official deadpool headcanon is this. This this this.

fireandwonder

Okay but this whole concept actually makes a lot of sense, because villains are a lot more likely to be disfigured/disabled/use adaptive devices (bc ableist tropes), so of course, say, a child amputee is going to be more interested in the villain with a robot arm who almost destroyed New York than the heroes that took him down.

Also, imagine one of the kids gets better, and a few years down the line becomes a villain themself, except their crimes are things like smuggling chemo drugs across the border for families that can’t afford treatment, or stealing from corrupt businessmen to make donations to underfunded hospitals (idk this turned into a Leverage AU or something) and every time the heroes encounter her, they’re like “oh no. she’s getting away. curses. welp, nothing we can do.” Though it isn’t that she can’t take them on; bc of course once the villain from way back when found out what she was up to, he started helping/training her.

“I thought they just hired someone to dress up and pretend to be you,” she says, amazed, when he reveals himself. “I didn’t think they actually got the real you!”

Every year the Villain Wrangler gets a very expensive gift basket from the pair.

brosequartz

and for the kids who don’t get better the villains are there too, they show up to every funeral, they bear too small coffins on their shoulders and the heroes stand aside

they are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

and the lost children are never forgotten. flowers appear on graves during birthdays and anniversaries, heroes find pictures of those kids and they carefully take them down and ensure they’re delivered to the villain’s cell, and a few villains can be seen with friendship bracelets wrapped around their wrists the cops have learned not to try and take them off

beka-tiddalik

And then one day, one of the evil geniuses who happens to specialise in inducing bizarre genetic mutations meets a young fan who was born with a rare genetic disorder that is slowly killing them, and realises that they can help.

Another, who created their own exosuit, talks to a young fan and suddenly understands how much the technology that they have built for themselves could revolutionise quality of life for people with muscular dystrophy, or paraplegia, or other disorders that confine people to wheelchairs with little mobility.

A third thinks of a way that their nanobots could be used to detect and remove cancer cells when their fan, who had been in remission, writes to say that the doctors have found a new metastasizing tumour.

Then shortly after, an evil genius specialising in cloning is contacted by an old colleague asking if a suitable heart couldn’t be grown for their young fan with a congenital heart condition who needs a donor.

Suddenly, a pattern of villains offering (and marketing) their insights and resources to improve medical science starts to arise. Many who had previously been operating on society’s fringes are shocked to receive public accolades, research grants and job offers from major companies because of their work.

A grassroots movement arises advocating for imprisoned villains with appropriate qualifications and/or experience to have access to resources to conduct research for the public good. The Second Chance Rehabilitation Project launches.

(It is an open secret that only people who have been vetted by the Villain Wrangler are allowed to join, because the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network to run background checks and character references through ensure that none of the children wishing to meet their role models get hurt.)

Being able to say that one is involved with the Project begins to look really good in parole hearings. The Villains involved perform their own quality checks on one another, because if one of their kids got hurt, then all of their kids could potentially lose out, and the ones that are serious about the Project are not having that. (Also, the ability to collaborate with other geniuses is the most interesting thing to happen to most of them since losing to various heroes, and most consider the intellectual stimulation to be worth putting up with the ridiculous egoes and inevitable personality clashes that arise.)

Reformed Villains come out of the woodwork to advocate about better mental healthcare, and support systems. Savvy universities and private labs quietly take their advice, setting up better mental health supports and laboratory safety standards to prevent the Brain Drain caused by losing their less stable scientists to the Costumes.

The Villain Wrangler watches all of this develop with a smile.

Their plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

animentality

I’m so down for these posts that assume the best of people instead of the worst

eeyore9990

Okay, this part caught my attention: “…the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network…to ensure that none of the children…gets hurt.” Which led me to the heartbreaking realization that one DID. Get hurt, that is, by the villain they idolized.

And all I can think is that the Villain Wrangler didn’t call in the heroes. They didn’t call in another heart-of-gold villain. No. The VW rolled up their sleeves and went after this person themself. This project is their baby, after all. If they get the accolades for the successes, they must also shoulder the burden of the failures.

The VW hunts down the villain that crossed the line. Their punishment is swift and horrifying; no hero would have the stomach to mete out justice in such a way, and no villain would have the desire to get quite that much blood on their own hands.

There’s. So much… blood.

The Villain Wrangler never forgets. They increase security, increase the hours and background checks… they increase the graveside visits to the child they failed.

Just the one. But one is one too many.

shrewreadings

Of course, you all realize that we just uncovered @copperbadge‘s secret identity, don’t you?

ilzolende

I’d like to think at least one of the Second Chance Rehabilitation Project villains follows bioethicists and so on just to feel like they’re still breaking a moral consensus.

mastreworld

Somebody actually did write a story based on this idea. I wish I could remember what the title was, but it was about somebody working with the Make a Wish foundation and trying to track down Loki because a child wanted to meet him. After some twists and turn, including a talk to Thor and a suspicious interrogation by S.H.I.E.L.D. (”And why are you really trying to get in contact with Loki?”), she succeeded.

iamhisgloriouspurpose

The story from @veliseraptor!
http://veliseraptor.tumblr.com/post/147726572105/the-villain-wrangler-46k-based-on-this-post

I also found this on AO3:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7249990/chapters/16461178

And this on FFnet:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12052373/1/The-Villain-Wrangler

writernotwaiting

I really love this.

kickingshoes

There’s also The Criminal Keeper on ao3, a Flash AU fic, which is very good and I highly recommend it

nonnegative

i did just go gooey thinking of the flash’s rogues gallery doing this. they’re all softy criminals, after all.

the flash's rogues aka the i wonder what barry/wally is doing we miss him squad

nbcthegoodplace

the good place yayyy

um-dont

oh by the way i also noticed something about yurio

did yurio tell mila to let him know when yuuri was about to perform?! that’s so sweet ok. you’re not convincing me otherwise. yurio gives so many shits about yuuri. he wants to see him do well. live. oh wow.

and also, after yuuri skates a flawless routine:

LOOK AT THAT LIL SMILE CREEPING UP THAT FACE. LOOK AT IT. my small child. i know you don’t want to smile but this is exactly what you’ve been waiting for, give yourself a break for once.

this. this is the golden one:

he forgets to watch the free skate, but thankfully he rushes back in time to watch yuuri do something insane:

i know everyone was shocked, but i’m thinking yurio has watched enough of yuuri’s performances to not expect to see that coming. he’s probably like, “since when did katsudon learn to land a quad flip??? what??? did i just see that???”

meanwhile, when it comes to his own teammate:

mila: hey, georgi’s about to start

lmao they’ve been giving us clues… yurio cares so much about yuuri, you have no idea.

lol poor georgi though he does pay attention when georgi is so extra that it's too hard to ignore yuri on ice

batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate

philcoulsonismyhero asked:

If you could pick the characters for a show exactly like Legends of Tomorrow, but with actual decent representation and far more women than men, who would you pick? (Drawing from the comics too, if you want, since the TV verse doesn't have nearly enough women.)

batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate answered:

oh DUDE. bless you.

okay, so. let’s assume Rip Hunter still gets the team together, because plot devices and I want to keep the time travel shenanigans anyway, except Rip Hunter is now a woman and is played by Priyanka Chopra. Bam.

Sara and Kendra stay, because I love them. Specifically, Kendra stays past the first season and actually meant it when she said she wasn’t going to get with Carter just because destiny says so. Non-Carter romances end in tragedy? Fine, no romance. Kendra has a timeline to save.

Tatsu is part of the crew, because honestly she seems like a prime candidate. A woman who’s lost her family, isolated herself from society, but still seeks to do good in the world? PERFECT. Not to mention highly moral, which would put her in conflict with A LOT of the rest of the team and create those Personality Conflicts we all live for. (Plus, how cool would the Japan episode have been if Tatsu was there to meet her ancestors and see the origin of her sword?)

I want Mari on board too. Amaya’s nice and everything, but her whole character seems like a lot of wasted opportunity and a really shallow attempt to replace Mari. (I could and probably will do a whole post about this honestly.) Plus they could actually explore magic with her and everything.

Let’s tap Hartley Rathaway in, because I adore him more than is, like, remotely reasonable and we have villain niches to fill. Plus he can cover Ray and Martin’s Tech Guy thing. He and Sara can rub their gay little hands all over history. Plus, again, jackass genius ego = Fun Drama.

For a second villain… god, I would honestly love if Black Siren somehow got conscripted? Like, Team Flash and Team Arrow are sick of dealing with her and she’s doing fuck-all else, so she gets kidnapped to go Be Heroic? IMAGINE HOW COMPLICATED HER RELATIONSHIP WITH SARA WOULD BE. I have no idea how they would ever convince her to stay, but if they got Mick they can keep her, right? (Is her name Dinah or Laurel? I want it to be Dinah because lbr, moral alignment aside Black Siren is the Dinah Lance we deserved from the beginning.)

And for our second Token Boy I’m thinking… eh, who cares. One boy is fine. We’ve been dealing with Smurfettes for approximately all of history.

hartley would be so happy on this team he's the prettiest boy and also the only boy! legends of tomorrow

isokura

Simone Biles is named Woman of the Year

black-to-the-bones

It’s so amazing Simone Biles is named a Woman Of The Year! She deserves it. Can you imagine how hard it is to be an athlete, especially when you are black and to win the Olympics for your country? It’s incredibly hard, but she has done everything so that we could be proud of her and proud for our country. She’s not only a talented athlete, she also has a beautiful personality.

And black kids all over the country can relate to her and be inspired by her achievements.

Thank you, Simone!

crime-she-typed

GET IT GIRL!!!

teaforyourginaa

YES!!!!!!!!

good thing about 2016 simone biles

trcunning

debbie reynolds i have a lot of feelings about debbie reynolds because i was a musical theater kid and this one hit me as hard as her daughter did

vukwanrik

Dear 2017,

dennys

Listen. At the end of each year everyone always claims it was the worst. And that’s probably a lot of pressure for you, 2017. You might be scared you’ll top them all, that you might suck harder than anything has ever sucked before. But don’t let the previous setbacks lessen your courage or dampen your positivity. This is YOUR year 2017! It’s named after you! And it’s going to be full of friendship and love and art and animals and pancakes and waffles and late night chats with pals and more connecting to people like you on the internet and more sharing creative output and more everything that makes you happy. We can just feel it. So put a pot of coffee on and get ready for your big day. It’s almost here.

Signed,
Denny’s

god what a comforting weird corporate tumblr denny's is

cacchieressa

mylittleredgirl

rest in joyful splendor, debbie 💗🌺💞 and give your baby girl a hug from us

Source: youtube.com

;_____; carrie fisher debbie reynolds rip

Me: Brain, let's write some of the fun robot Victor fic we've plotted. Or maybe the cracky rare pair thing. That's fun, too!
Brain: How about we write about Yuri being sad instead?
Me: What
Brain: Here are 500 words for now, but lol this idea is long enough that it'll probably take you weeks to finish. It also includes Victor being sad. :D?
Me: ...

my writing don't worry my brain also provided me with a happy ending it's not THAT mean yuri on ice

felidadae

hachidraws

It’s cold in St Petersburg and Yuuri’s flirt game is still pretty rusty even a year later

christ yuri on ice fanart

makingthenoise

hartleyrathaway

at some point in the very near future, i kind of want to see cisco turn around right before leaving to do something dangerous, put his hands on barry’s shoulders, look right into his eyes, and say “if i die from this, i want you to lower me to my grave so you can let me down one last time” in his most serious voice