catgirlmagneto
my favorite part of the barbie movie trailer was when margot robbie emerged from her tomb deep underground and said “this is how meat loves meat”
scoobhead
the best thing about ianthe tridentarius is that she is 100% convinced that she’s the protagonist, the villain, AND the love interest in a story that she doesn’t know is decidedly not about her
liesmyth
also. we don’t talk enough about how the og Canaan House gang were doing metaphysical experiments on people. just cramming a dozen souls into one person. five hundred into fifty. yes yes it’s tragic that all the cavs died but also they were ALL taking those freshly resurrected batches and squeezing their souls like juice to make creepy priests. Anastasia I just want to talk
scoobhead
john gaius is the funniest character in the locked tomb tbh. he’s such a fuckin clown. he’s literally just some dude. he got magic death powers one day and proceeded to astronomically fuck everything else up from there. he was a twitch streamer. he projects his ennui onto cows. his goal was to stop the trillionaires from fucking off and leaving everyone else on earth to die, but somehow managed to literally kill every human being on the planet and STILL let the trillionaires escape. he gave the earth form from his own flesh and panicked and made her look like barbie. he then locked barbie in a top secret underground tomb and told everyone else he killed her (he didn’t). he was very confident that this plan was eternally foolproof until he was bested by a 10 year old lesbian nun. he resurrected all of his dead besties and made them think that he was their god, mostly just for fun. he’s so goddamn horny that he was tricked into TWO SEPARATE EVIL THREESOMES. he named himself John Earth. he’s my worstie and my silly rabbit and i’m obsessed with him
thanergeticbloom
I hope Paul looks at Harrow someday - like if she ever gets to be genuinely happy and looks at someone with love softening her face - and asks her to do them a favor and look at them like she’s trying to understand what they’re talking about. More eyebrows. And then they say, “Good god, perfect. Do you know, I miss Nona terribly.”
argentconflagration
i might have said this before but ive come to believe that the locked tomb series mostly gets presented as “lesbian necromancers in space” NOT because people think that alone is a sufficient selling point (in the critique’s worst form, “all people care about is LGBT representation”) but because it’s hard to describe the plot of tlt in a way that successfully conveys its appeal.
“lesbian necromancers in space” is just tlt’s version of homestuck’s “four kids play a game” or 17776’s “what football will look like in the future” or everything everywhere all at once’s “a chinese-american woman struggles with her taxes”.
knightingale-s
jacqcrisis
Im obsessed with the people on this website who know enough about random old TV shows that they can write entire fuckin' meme shitposts in the style of them like fuck everyone except whoever wrote the Columbo PS3 post and the tags on that Trans Seinfeld thing you're the only motherfuckers I respect
knightingale-s
skittidyne
whats crazy is this is how the subreddit rlly is.
the assholes will word thier titles innocently like “am i the asshole for not making my toddler the dinner they wanted?” and then its a detailed account of them poisoning and nearly killing thier child, while a post like “am i the asshole for throwing my mother in law off a cliff” is a story of heroism where the OP used the last of thier strength to push thier mother in law off a small cliff into a body of water to save her from a swarm of mutant acid flamethrower killer bees.
kavehandtea
shenyaanigans
do you ever read a post from a mutual and think… hoho… this other mutual would absolutely hate this post with a raging passion…
incorrect-three-houses-quotes
punkinspice-latte
starrscribbles
qoppybirdie
batsyarts
snarky-gourmet
antique-romantic
