Fanfic: pairing, tsukkiyama
Summary: Tsukishima learns the Patronus
coda to OIASM chapter 18
GiftFic! for Crystal - short and 9 years late, LORDT
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Tsukishima asks Shimizu to teach him the patronus because out of all the people that he knows who are happy and the few he knows who are smart, she is probably the only one who manages to be both. Thinking of inherent happiness as an idiotic trait says more about Tsukishima than anything else, but he shoves that train of thought to the side and bows politely and asks anyway.
Her expression is as unruffled as ever, though he is getting better at detecting the minute changes that indicate her state of mind. He decides that it is most likely shock.
“It isn’t that I don’t want to,” she says belatedly. “Or even that I think I’d be a poor teacher. I am simply surprised that you would think to ask me.”
“You’re Ravenclaw Champion,” he says, like it’s obvious. She blinks, slow, in a way that might be pleased.
“I see,” she says.
“I’ve read up on the practical aspect. Think happy thoughts and go,” he keeps his voice deliberately droll, to hide his nervousness.
“Mm. That won’t work for you.” Shimizu leads the way to the Training Room, empty at lunch hour. “You’re too focused on the process. What is happiness? Was it foolish, in hindsight? Will your current happiness bring you grief later?”
Tsukishima flushes angrily. She gives him a rare smile, shutting the door behind them. “I’m the same,” she says, and he calms.
“I’m not an unhappy person, despite what I seem. There is a lot of good in my life. I appreciate the things that I have, even if I’m afraid sometimes of asking for more. Be honest with yourself, Tsukishima. What is the best thing in your life? What has made you happier than anything else, at any other time? When things are dark, where do you go, in your mind?”
Tsukishima flushes again. “You don’t have to say it,” she reassures him. “You never have to say it out loud. But you have to say it to yourself or the magic won’t come. And you won’t be able to help him.”
Tsukishima glances at her out of the corner of his eye, then looks back straight ahead, too embarrassed even to face in her general direction. He consoles himself with the thought that at least he didn’t ask Kuroo as he draws his wand.
Tsukishima remembers the week that Yamaguchi had been stuck as a cat. He’d liked that more than he’d wanted to admit even just privately. Yamaguchi is a cute person and smart and earnest and a little goofy and just someone really likeable. Mostly, Tsukishima feels indulgent, watching Yamaguchi gain confidence and forge friendships and glow a little brighter every day. Every once in a while, though, when he’s looking sad or stressed or overwhelmed or even just smiling a little too sweetly at somebody else, Tsukishima wants to cast transmogrify and lock him in a room Yamaguchi can’t open without opposable thumbs. Just sometimes. Rarely.
Be honest.
Tsukishima remembers laying across the bed, Yamaguchi’s little cat face tucked against his neck, purring softly. With each breath, cat whiskers tickled the underside of his chin, but not enough to move- just enough to be aware. His hands trailed through the soft clean fur of Yamaguchi’s coat, rubbing the base of his ears and down his spine, curled like a perfect little oval. Yamaguchi nuzzled closer and somewhere in-between, he shifted back, cold wet nose gone, breath suddenly hot against skin. Yet something about this perfect, still Sunday morning didn’t change- Tsukishima didn’t let it. Selfishly, he kept his arms tight around Yamaguchi’s shoulders, kept his hands tangled in that soft shaggy hair. Yamaguchi sighed, a surprisingly human sound in the silence, and Tsukishima looked down. Yamaguchi blinked up at him with his hazy brown eyes and Tsukishima touched his cheek, sliding along freckles to rest at the nape of his neck. He could feel the pulse there, soft and steady. Yamaguchi lay nearly fully on his chest, but somehow he didn’t feel heavy. Probably because Tsukishima was busy feeling so light.
Happiest he’s ever been has always been beside Yamaguchi. And he’ll learn this spell, and the next, and more and more, as many as it takes, as much as he needs to. He’ll protect this thing that’s so important to him… because if anything is worth a little effort, it’s this shyly messy person with his perfect, crooked grin.
Sorry, Tsukki!
Tsukishima casts a perfect patronus, silver light pouring from his wand into an arc, corporeal form solidifying in an instant. He’s not a bit surprised when it twines against his ankle, purring. After a moment where he tries to pretend this isn’t happening and that his whole heart isn’t on the floor, batting playfully at his shoelaces, he gives in. Tsukishima drops down back on his heels and and pets the silver cat between the ears.
“At least I didn’t ask Kuroo,” he repeats out loud. Shimizu, to her credit, doesn’t say a word.
~~
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