In fact, I fear I am a jack-of-all-trades.

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
humansofnewyork
(23/32) “A lot of girls broke into the business by working with an agent. But that was an even dirtier path. The biggest agent in town was named Dick Richards. And if you worked with him, you had to have a ménage-a-trois with his girlfriend. I...

(23/32) “A lot of girls broke into the business by working with an agent.  But that was an even dirtier path. The biggest agent in town was named Dick Richards.  And if you worked with him, you had to have a ménage-a-trois with his girlfriend.  I wouldn’t do it.  Plus I knew that Dick Richards would never give his best gigs to the black girl. So I needed another way to stand out. The first thing I tried was a snake. My cousin had gotten a six-foot snake from a pet store, then decided he didn’t want it. So I made it part of my show. I would drape it around my shoulder every time I danced. The snake thing worked OK for awhile, especially when I was performing in a theater. But whenever I was working the floor at a private party, all the guys would freak out. So I needed something different. My next idea was to swallow a sword.  I took a trip to Tannen’s, which was the biggest, most famous magic store in the world. It had everything for magic tricks: trick mirrors, trap doors, boxes where you could saw people in half. Back then the owner of the store was a guy named Tony, and I was honest with him.  I told him I wanted to swallow a sword so I didn’t have to shove dildos up my hoo-hah. That really killed him. He gave me a tour of the shop, and started introducing me to all the real magicians. He kept asking me to repeat what I’d told him. Eventually we found a fake sword that would roll up in my mouth, but then he had a better idea. He went into the back and brought out a little brown box.  Then he opened it up, and pulled out a special trick.  I’d never seen a trick like this before. It was the trick that put me on the map.  In the 1970’s, if you were a certain kind of guy, and you heard the name Tanqueray, you thought of this trick.”
The Tanqueray Trust: https://bit.ly/2ZUjifW

humansofnewyork
(24/32) “I always saved my special magic trick for the grand finale. I’d bring it out during my final number, which was usually Donna Summer’s Love To Love You Baby. The guys would start roaring as soon as the song came on, because they knew what was...

(24/32) “I always saved my special magic trick for the grand finale. I’d bring it out during my final number, which was usually Donna Summer’s Love To Love You Baby. The guys would start roaring as soon as the song came on, because they knew what was coming. By that time I’d be down to a silk negligee made from thirty yards of silk. And even though I was full nude, I could twirl that negligee so fast that you never saw a thing. There would always be two baby bottle tops covering my nipples. And right as Donna was hitting the high note,‘I love to love you, babbbby’, I’d start tugging on those bottle tops, and chocolate milk would shoot out into the front row. It drove all the guys crazy. And I never let anyone near my equipment, so nobody could figure it out. There was a full blown rumor in the community that black girls make chocolate milk.  And I just let them run with it.  Because my shows were always full. The minute the doors opened, the guys would be running for the front row. I worked my way up to feature in less than a year. Nobody had ever done that before. I was just like Jackie Robinson, black number one. Make room for Tanqueray, cause here I come.”
The Tanqueray Trust: https://bit.ly/2ZUjifW

slugtranslation-hypmic

Anonymous asked:

Re: Hitoya, he's a defence attorney with his own firm (although the series may be conflating criminal and civil lawyers, I think he's criminal defence). Without getting too technical, in Japan it's rare for the defence to win criminal cases at trial because of the way their system is set up to heavily favour the prosecution, hence his preference for plea bargaining, and that means it's a Really Big Deal that he successfully defends cases and he must be an amazing lawyer.

Also from another anon:

Hey so don’t take my word as like law on the matter(pun), but Hitoya is defo a defence attorney. What I inferred about his conversation about deals is that rather than engaging in lengthy and costly processes to fight it out in court his preference is to settle via something like Civil Compromise where in the affected party in a crime can receive “restorative” funds from the offending party. The offending party pays the affected party to drop charges and avoid a recorded criminal history (½)

How this ties in Jyushi is likely through regular old civil claims. Idk if they have private prosecution in Japan. But yeah, lawyers don’t actually need too many specific qualifications for specialisation, and most can be bought, so a defence attorney could still do like conveyancing or executry if they wanted. So Hitoya could 100% be a defence attorney and still pursue a civil claim against Jyushis bullies. A civil claim is always about money and assets so it sounds right up his alley. (2/2)

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Jk, thanks. This does clear up a lot. It also tells me that I need to do a crapton of research before continuing to work with translating him.

not a translation asks